Thursday, February 14, 2008


Republicans Walk Out, Americans Pray They Won't Return

Republican lawmakers in Washington, DC, did today what voters and citizens across the country have been trying to do for the better part of the last 8 years: they removed themselves from the House chamber of the Capitol.

Following an impassioned speech decrying "political grandstanding" by minority leader John Boehner, Republican members of the House of Representatives walked out of congress and onto the steps of the Capitol in a move oddly similar to "political grandstanding."

Many Americans cheered the move, but asked, "how can we keep them from coming back? Could they all just go home and stop bothering us?"

The Republicans supposedly walked out in protest that the Democratic members would not approve a Senate bill that granted blanket retroactive immunity to telecom companies involved in the Bush administration's "warrantless wiretapping" practices.

Strangely enough, since that measure was not going to come to a vote, the next item on the agenda, forwarded by Chairman of the Judiciary Committee John Conyers, was to hold administration officials Harriet Miers and Josh Bolton in contempt of Congress and authorized a civil contempt suit against the two by the House. When that issue came to a vote, there were no Republicans in the chamber and the measure passed, 223-32.

Sadly, the Republicans returned to their offices and various hearings moments later, dashing the hopes of millions that once gone, they would stay away.

Hack N. Spend, an interested bystander, hoped the Republican lawmakers would make use of FEMA trailers that New Orleans hurricane victims have been living in for the past two years and now were being told by FEMA executives that they are unsafe for human habitation.

"The Republicans could camp right out here in those FEMA trailers since they're said to be not fit for regular people," said Spend. "Believe me, these Republicans are anything but regular," he added.